After a successful 5-2 road trip — and we all know that the umpiring helped with one of those L’s — the San Francisco Giants will be able to commence with their opening home stand. First up, the Arizona D’bags.
So far, Brandon Belt is on course to hit over 150 home runs this season. Michael Morse, our off-season acquisition, is fitting in with the crowd of bats, contributing his own RBIs and clutch hits while Buster is looking vintage Buster. Pence is coming around with some hits, and Panda’s weight loss has made him quicker with the glove.
Despite the first place standing and all the accolades befitting a team that has won 2 World Series within the last three years, all the attention has been on the Los Angeles Dodgers. ESPN has them on speed dial from their butt phone, and we can all take comfort in knowing that even if Cainer were to throw a no-hitter during Sunday’s game, the focus of all stories would be on Yasiel Puig’s precious thumb. He needs it, of course, as prints are required at the police station for his next infraction which, as we say in Hollywood, is COMING SOON!
Otherwise, we love our San Francisco Giants. We don’t need celebrity announcers to remember the names of our players, and we don’t need the allure of the Kardashian family to bring us to our beautiful stadium.
Giants v. Dodgers 4/6 Summary: