Below is the latest in our ongoing series of posts by our special guest blogger Tommy L. Given the recent injury news from his team, our venerable friend decided to speak on injuries in baseball.
Yeah, I’ll say it. Players these days are damned sissies, the lot of them. Take this Ramirez kid. What’s his name, Handy? Heck, I used to know a “Handy Ramirez” back in the days when Fleiss was still running her outfit. Little lady from Tijuana, carried a bottle of Jurgens in her purse and did this little twisty thing that would make a man go crazy…
But anyways, what I’m saying is that the players of today are a pale imitation of the ballplayers we had back in the day. Hell, did you know I saw Andy Carey play the entire 1956 season with a broken femur? Kid parked in Mantle’s spot down in Spring Training and Mick smashed into him as he was unloading luggage from the trunk. That’s how you teach a rookie respect!
But this Ramirez kid? One little thumb injury and he’s down for two goddam months. Someone better tell this prima donna he has nine other fingers that work just fine.
You know, Fernando Valenzuela, my favorite Catholic left-hander of all time, he pitched his entire big league career without working ligaments in his left elbow. That’s why I pitched the kid 250 innings a year, that damn elbow of his flopped around like a nicely cooked strand of linguine. Couldn’t lift a fork high enough to feed himself half the year, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t make for one bitch of a screwball.
So while we’re on the subject of linguine, my new friend Guy Fieri turned me on to this amazing recipe. See, it’s a lot like your standard veal and pork chop parm with meatballs. But what you do is, in between the layers of cheese, deep fry those meatballs, dust them with bacon bits, then top with the rest of the parmesan. Serve with a pint of grappa and you’ve got yourself a sensible dinner!