Niners/Packers, Division Playoffs… time to cut the cheese.

Well, the Niners kick off their playoffs in about 90 minutes. The Packers are in town, and while the Niners handled Green Bay easily in week 1, today’s game will be a completely different level. So, let’s go over some of the key players in today’s game.

Of course, there’s Aaron Rodgers. In case you’ve never watched ESPN, read Sports Illustrated or visited any Niner blog in the last eight years (you lucky bastard, you,) Rodgers was passed up by the Niners in favor of Alex Smith. Drinking game: every time the announcers mention the 2005 draft, take a drink. You’ll be dead from alcohol poisoning by halftime.

The Packers running game is lead by halfback… who the hell knows. Seriously, does anyone know? Maybe someone can call the In-n-Out the guy was working at three weeks ago and ask.

The Green Bay secondary is so bad they once intercepted a ball and still managed to give up a touchdown.

And of course, there’s the fans. It’s not hard to spot a Packer fan. They usually have a huge block of fake cheese on their heads and a huge block of real cheese in their lower intestines.

Enjoy the game. Any more to add, put them in the comments below and I’ll update.

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164 Responses to Niners/Packers, Division Playoffs… time to cut the cheese.

  1. xoot says:

    The Rams were always the in conference rivals; the Seahawks may have taken that spot now. But the Cowboys, the Native American Skins and the Packers have always been the NFC rivals when the games were important. I know, I know, the NY Giants had some fierce playoff games against the 9ers, too, but you couldn’t hate the NYGs. Hell, Burt became a great SB-winning 49er after clocking Montana in the playoffs a couple years earlier. You can hate the Cowboys, the NASkins and the Packers. And you should. Young to Owens in the Catch II was just a great moment. I hope this game doesn’t require such heroics. F the f’in cheeseheads and their Lambeau Leaps. Welcome to Candlestick, chumps. Niners by 10.

  2. sandy32koufax says:

    Uh, JD…have you seen the gold nugget hat the niners are now marketing?


    Matthews is just a misunderstood fella

  3. JDR says:

    The refs got that call right, but it would have been fun to see the Pats lose homefield in the AFC Championship due to the tuck rule.

  4. shaman138 says:

    Fuck this…the refs are deciding the outcome of this game. At least they didn’t give Manning the tuck rule. But the Ravens are finding ways to piss this game away, too.

  5. sandy32koufax says:

    Broncos secondary is absent on this, probably, final drive by Baltimore…pass rush is nonexistent too.

  6. sandy32koufax says:

    It’s such bullshit that coaches can call TO’s that way…

    And the Ravens CHOKE on downs!

  7. shaman138 says:

    Damnit. I hate the Broncos

  8. xoot says:

    Well, what do you football experts think of that fucking play? Good game.

  9. sandy32koufax says:

    Fucking Broncos secondary SUCKS!

  10. shaman138 says:

    By “Flacco’s incompetence” I actually meant “hella clutch!”

  11. JDR says:

    Good, they’re going with Huey Lewis for the anthem. I thought we might get stuck with Train again. Train is the goddam worst.

  12. JDR says:

    Wait, why doesn’t Denver have that kid who had the TD receiving the punt? Did I miss something?

  13. xoot says:

    What a stupid fucking pass.

  14. xoot says:

    Well, that’s better. πŸ˜‰

  15. JDR says:

    Flipping back to the Denver game… that’s some fine Manningface there.

  16. sandy32koufax says:

    And the dumbass Rams hire Ryan as their new DC…WTF???

  17. sandy32koufax says:

    Sucks to be a Denver fan tonight…

    • xoot says:

      a 47 yard FG in those conditions ain’t no gimme. A harbaugh/harbaugh super bowl would be dream for the marketeers.

      • sandy32koufax says:

        No, it sure isn’t a gimme but he still stroked it and somehow Lewis lives to see another day.

        H & H has been a highly anticipated matchup since Jimbo became Niner HC…if they bboth make it the SB, it’ll be damn predictable shit all pregame long.

    • shaman138 says:

      Feels good to be a Raider fan! Broncos SUCK!

  18. JDR says:

    Wow… Denver is done.

    You know what’s going to happen now, right? Dumbasses across the bible belt will be jumping up with the “Tim Tebow got them as far as Peyton Manning” crap.

    • xoot says:

      Elway’s too smart to fall for that crap. I’ll bet he hates Tebow as much as anyone.

      • JDR says:

        Oh, I’m not saying it will matter, but you can bet that PFT and the other football boards will see their fair share of idiots who want to compare Manning with Tebow.

  19. shaman138 says:

    Haha! Donkeys SUCK!

  20. sandy32koufax says:


  21. JDR says:

    Wow… so it’s going to be that kind of game?
    I’ll take it.

  22. shaman138 says:

    Monster break for the 9ers

  23. sandy32koufax says:

    Man, no one is playing serious defense yet…

    • JDR says:

      I know Crabtree can’t carry the offense forever, but there’s also the thought in the back of my head that Randy Moss lives to troll the Green Bay Packers. You could totally see him popping up at the end to screw them one last time.

      • sandy32koufax says:

        Everyone has a purpose in life…Moss’ has seemed to be a dick/stud since college.

        What was his buddy Jason/White Chocolate’s name again?

  24. JDR says:

    AHH! They mentioned the draft… DRINK!

  25. sandy32koufax says:

    Fucking Green Bay looks like shit on both sides of the ball

  26. shaman138 says:

    Green Bay clearly wants to give this game away. Lame cheesy fucks.

  27. sandy32koufax says:

    Green Bay just looks completely undone at this point

  28. sandy32koufax says:


    Are you ready for some football?

  29. JDR says:

    “That’s an answer from Aaron Rodgers!”

    And a handful of dumbass penalties.

    Fuck you, Joe Buck.

  30. sandy32koufax says:

    Even with my glasses on, looks like a “No Catch” to me…

  31. sandy32koufax says:

    ZERO containment by Pack”D”

    Idjits. Niners are going to have a zillion first half yards

  32. JDR says:

    Under one minute and the Niners have timeouts to burn. That’s encouraging. Anybody’s game at this point.

  33. xoot says:

    Chicken shit penalties vs. the 9ers and that one horrific int at the start make the differenc so far. Get Davis and Moss more involved. Use Gore and James both. Sack Rodgers a few times. god dammit!

  34. xoot says:

    How can the D look so tired when they’ve been on the sideline for most of the game?

  35. sandy32koufax says:

    Tight football game in spite of everything.

    Thank you referees

  36. sandy32koufax says:

    What is that, 160 yards rushing? Two TD’s?

    Kaepernick’s looking just fine

  37. shaman138 says:

    Holy shit Colin.

  38. shaman138 says:

    Meh. Game over. Fuck the cheeseturds.

  39. xoot says:

    Frank Gore is just a tough sob and, without flash or fancy moves, a great running back.

  40. sandy32koufax says:

    Niners Seattle, if it must be the Niners at all…

    • shaman138 says:

      Hawks will win tomorrow. Next week may be the most epic nfc champ game of all time…and Seattle is going all the way, niner fans.

      • xoot says:

        all the way home wondering how the 9ers managed to figure them out and send them, if you’ll pardon the phrase, packing

  41. sandy32koufax says:

    Whoopass has been served

  42. JDR says:

    Discount Double-suck!

  43. JDR says:

    So… do we root for a rematch with the SeaHags, or go we bank on Atlanta’s aptitude for choking in the playoffs?

  44. JDR says:

    AHH Draft Mention!


  45. sandy32koufax says:

    Kaepernick turned in one of the all-time best all-around performances by a quarterback at any level…a very disturbing turn of events.

    Later people and have a great Saturday evening!

  46. mailorderwife says:

    Insane stuff!!! GO 49ERS!

  47. Chico says:

    Sorry I missed the fun here.. Woo hoo! Niners!!!!!

  48. shaman138 says:

    Both of SF’s potential opponents look very mediocre this morning.

  49. sandy32koufax says:

    JUST rolled over in bed and VOILA’!

    BAD football.

    Seattle is toast so far-13-0…

    So much for ‘rivalry match-ups’

  50. sandy32koufax says:

    Had to be a missed coverage or Seattle doesn’t score

  51. sandy32koufax says:

    I need a bloody…be back asap, dowders

  52. JDR says:

    Whelp, that should just about do it for the SeaHags. Time to look at how the Niners stack up against the Falcons. Don’t see Matt Ryan airing it out so much with Goldson roaming the backfield, and Kaepernick on the fast field could be scary.

    On another note, you have to respect Richard Sherman’s ability to troll opposing teams. He’s like a heel wrestler. You don’t like the guy, and that’s the whole point.

  53. shaman138 says:

    Holy shit Seahawks

  54. Chico says:

    What a game!

  55. JDR says:

    There you have it. Niners to Atlanta. Hope Kaep gets over his pre-snap issues. The dome is going to be loud.

  56. sandy32koufax says:

    Pleasantly mellowed by two bloodys and a bowl of Norcal’s finest.

    Broken City is THE dumbest name for a postgame show, hell, for anything-EVER!

    Glad for Gonzalez tho

  57. mailorderwife says:

    Mylanta Falcons, eh? Was watching Twitter earlier, and there were the red state boys referring to Kaepernick as fag. Fag this, fag that. At least Seattle has evolved with the rest of the first world. Georgia? They’re joining the south on a time machine catapult to the Jim Crow days.

    That being said, I’m glad for Tony Gonzalez. But he needs to do what he’s been doing every year for the Super Bowl: Watching from home.

  58. sandy32koufax says:

    Fack…HUGE return-94 yards?

    • JDR says:

      Is it asking too much to see Manning, Rodgers and Brady eliminated in the same weekend?

      • sandy32koufax says:

        Now that isn’t quite cricket, jd.

        The NFL REQUIRES at least one ”marquee” name QB per SB and, as hot as his season has been, Kaepernick is not that guy…yet.

  59. mailorderwife says:

    Kaepernick has the game of his life. Flacco didn’t fail! But one of the top stories on ESPN? Tim Tebow’s brother’s tweet about being one of the few happy people in Denver yesterday. When are they going to stop stroking Tebow?

    • sandy32koufax says:

      Kaep had the game of all-time

      As long as Tebow has a following we’re going to keep hearing about him.

      Pete Tebow is a tool that should leave Denver, btw…

      Brady’s getting hot!

    • Chico says:

      Tebow’s 15 min are up! Don’t laugh, but the wife and I are eating at denny’s right. Not the best food, but I was craving a grand slam

  60. sandy32koufax says:

    Tejas better step it up or this is going to be a laffer…

    More fear-marketing from Corporate America…

  61. shaman138 says:

    How the fuck did Houston score 10 points so quickly?

  62. sandy32koufax says:

    I go downstairs for a refill n Tejas sneaks back into it?

    At least they’re making it close…

  63. shaman138 says:

    Bleh. Patriots are going to win this one.Let’s hope the Ravens get it done next week

  64. sandy32koufax says:

    Hey MOW, my friend is in Simi for the weekend, her son is playing in a hockey tourney down there. Last game just started. Any place in beaut Simi for good Viet or Thai?

    • mailorderwife says:

      Hmm….I have only been to Sim Valley once. Tell your friend to visit Gardena for Asian food. There is only one Asian grocer in the whole of Ventura County, and that place is required to carry all frozen goods with freezer burn.

  65. Chico says:

    The_Babbler was blocked? Seriously, the mods over there can go fuck themselves.

    Cal ladies beat the Furd ladies which ended the Furd’s 82 game win streak at home!

    • JDR says:

      That might be reason to contact VK. Yeah, babbler might be soph and a lot of other trolls, but the guy is a Splash institution.

      Anyone else notice how much easier it is to have posts blocked/removed on Sundays? I think there might be a pattern here. The person ICUC has running SFGate on Sundays is rather heavy-handed.

      • Chico says:

        Wait. He’s soph? If so, I won’t be sending an email.

        • sandy32koufax says:

          I thought soph was the guy that wears a bra in his avatar (can’t remember his screenname) that has been around as long as troll, twinfan, etc…

          • Chico says:

            Sandy, seriously? Get some sleep!

            Soph was Soph and now is Ninergal1 — how did you mess that up? The whole blog is based on soph’s life story. The Giants, not so much.

            • Chico says:

              And then Molly comes by and has FC’s comment about the Babbler removed for being ‘abusive’.. Nothing will ever change over there.

            • sandy32koufax says:

              Uh, we all were saying someone else was soph just a few weeks ago…one of te last “old names”

              You’ve gotten ptomaine poisoning from that Denny’s earlier!

      • xoot says:

        I don’t think Babbler bothered with trolling. I got to know him a bit over the years. He’s a smart guy; I definitely don’t see him wasting time with that foolish soph/ninergal crap. Babbler posted a lot of stuff on sfgate–commenting on news articles and other blogs all over the site. Maybe he pissed someone off. He certainly didn’t do anything wrong on the splash.

        I agree about the Sunday whitewashes on the splash. Someone comes through on the weekend and just wipes comments away. Nipper, btw, was the guy who seemed most soph-like, for a while, to old-timers on the blog. Lately, I haven’t been so sure.

  66. Chico says:

    I sent an email on Babbler’s behalf.. No response yet.

  67. unca_chuck says:

    Yeah, Babbler has been Babbler for a long time. Funny and inane. Certainly not someone who should be banned.

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