Who are you rooting for?

No Giants in this year’s playoffs, though it’s cushioned quite a bit by Boston’s ridiculously awesome collapse. So without the hometown squad to cheer, who are you rooting for in this year’s playoffs?

Phillies? Fuck those assholes. The only thing better than hoisting the trophy last year was sending all those battery-throwing retards home crying. After spending all that money on Cliff Lee how great would it be to see them go home, especially with the Eagles tripping over their own feet?

St Louis? Screw them. They’re the Dodgers of the midwest. They like to pretend they’re just another team making do with what they can get, but they’re as big a market as anyone in the NL. Plus their fans are all fat. Fatty fatty fat fat.

Milwaukee? Fuck you, Aaron Rodgers. This is entire population that bases its food pyramid on deep fried dairy products. Dieting in Milwaukee means using lite beer to batter your chicken fingers.

Arizona? The great thing about the D-Backs is that even though they won a title in 2001, all their fans are either too young or too old to remember it. The whole stadium smells like Ben-Gay and peroxide.

Tampa? Oh boy, let’s root for the underdog Rays who were so smart about building their franchise. You know how Tampa got to be great? They sucked ass for 15 years in a row. Unless you’re the Clippers, picking first in the draft for a solid decade is going to net a pretty good squad.

New York? If you were born outside of New York and root for the Yankees you are a complete asshole. Probably the sort of asshole who watches Steven Segal movies and compliments the dialogue. Yankee fans keep the market for No Fear clothing alive.

Tigers? Enough about Detroit. I’m sorry your city sucks, truly I am. But no amount of sporting success is going to bring jobs back. And I’m not going to feel sorry for any team that pays Miguel Cabrera $153 million.

Texas? I’d feel worse if they didn’t stick George Bush behind home plate. I spent last year’s World Series rooting for a wild pitch to sneak past the net.

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27 Responses to Who are you rooting for?

  1. Hahahaha…who the fuck ARE you rooting for?

    I’ll take D’Backs or Cards…Ima huge Furcal fan.

    D’Rays could beat anyone so I’ll go with them but I like Jeter too so…

  2. twinfan1 says:

    It’s not “rooting” in the adult world, it’s who you’re betting on. Brewers/Tigers as posted 9/29- Brewers win it all…

    • BAH!…I lived in Vegas and betting is not my thing anymore…lost too much money!

      • twinfan1 says:

        I don’t bet much at all anymore, but it was the only way I could maintain any interest in the postseason this year. I’ll be in big trouble if my picks get eliminated early…Project Runway.
        Baggy- why are you giving me shit on the Splash? I never fuck with you.
        Sandy: I’ve got dogs from Greyhound Park still running… that was like ’73..

        • JDR says:

          I like to give you shit once in a while to keep things lively. It’s only out of respect though.

          • twinfan1 says:

            Well, that’s good to know. I try to keep things straight, so to speak. If the posters who hate me, liked me..I’d put my head instead of a chicken in the oven tonight..

        • I worked at Santa Anita and Bay Meadows when I was a kid, selling newspapers with that days card in the sports section. When I moved to Vegas, I spent thousands at ‘Sport of Kings’ and don’t miss gambling since then.

      • JDR says:

        Yeah, I never quite took to gambling, being a cheap bastard and all. Losing hurts me way more than winning thrills me.

  3. xoot says:

    One of the games I attended at China Basin this year was vs. the Brewers. Both teams were playing well then, and the Brewers impressed me. Prince F. hasn’t seemed so obnoxious lately, etc. I wouldn’t mind seeing them win it all. If Rays continue to humiliate Texas, I may develop an interest in them, too.

  4. Jeter and Martin, hell, Granderson just made a great play!

  5. Chico says:

    Brewers and Tigers! If the Rays make it there then so be it and I’ll be happy. Screw the establishment! I don’t gamble, hell, when we go to Tahoe you can my wife and I at the bar or purposely losing at Keno just for drinks.. Smoke em’ if you got em!

  6. Señor Ochenta E. Ocho says:

    Rays over Brewers in six would be nice but I am not picky. I will root for tight games, close series, and unbelieveable finishes under slowly cooling skies.

  7. Chico says:

    They deleted Ugly’s comments about ICUC… Unfuckingbelievable! Fuck the fascist assholes.

    • Chico says:

      Just letting you know that your moderating of this site is like eating a tainted cantaloupe.. People are leaving in droves because of the wacky moderation. Does ICUC not even read what is posted? You have people running around the site with 30 plus accounts reporting abuse over and over simply because they don’t like someone in particular..

      That RIGHT THERE is against your OWN Terms and conditions of your OWN website. Maybe the staff needs a refresh of how to enforce your own rules? I dunno. It may be something to look into when you get a chance before all of your loyal commenters are gone..

      It’s beyond ridiculous, thanks for listening.

      My E-mail to the staff.

      • I said as much to Vlae and to Slusser…as yet no response to those emails…

        • JDR says:

          Slusser is a great sportswriter, but I doubt she cares much about how the comments are managed. She mentioned a while back that her and Henry and the rest don’t get paid any extra for writing the blogs. Honestly I don’t think VK cares much either as long as its not bothering how he does his job. The problem is with the 3rd party that manages the comments and the arbitrary way with which they enforce the rules.

          • Disagree, JDR, on Slusser not caring. IDThink she has the input to make major alterations to ‘how it works,’ though…

            • JDR says:

              I think her and VK only care to the extent it stays out of their mailbox. I don’t blame them, as it’s not really their job. But the person whose job it is hasn’t been enforcing the rules very well.

              • Wouldn’t it be GREAT to know just who does that job?

                • Chico says:

                  Johanna Hoadley, at least she was the go-to about a year and a half ago.. She’s Freaking useless these days.. It’s like a Ghost Ship, she has her crew but nobody at the Helm.. I just E-Mail the staff, it’s the only way it has worked for me in the past.

  8. JDR says:

    Jesus, Chico. I get the feeling you’ve dealt with them before…

    • Chico says:

      No Kidding Haha!

      Just a few random E-mails in the past in support of some of my friends tat got blocked… Me being one.

  9. Nipper says:

    Forget the SPLASH! Sooner or later everyone gets deleted.

  10. twinfan1 says:

    Try this guy:
    Bob Bragman
    SF Gate
    QA Engineer
    bbragman@sfgate.com
    (415) 777-6380

  11. Chico says:

    Good coaching makes all the difference in the world. These guys are on Board with Harbaugh. Great win Niners!

  12. sanfradodgerfan 10:23 PM on October 3, 2011
    hahaha…isn’t his avatar a violation of the gates’ posting policies?

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