Panic button? No. Whiskey? YES PLEASE.

Well shit, things in the NL West have gone from interesting to downright testy. Arizona has pulled into a tie and now it’s up to one of the three starters who don’t have 55 or 18 on the back of their jersey (read: mere mortals) play the stopper.

Yeah, it hasn’t been fun. After last night’s game you probably needed a stiff drink. Or a toke. Or a nice long walk. Or a toke and a nice long walk to go get a stiff drink…. What’s that, fellow fan? You have something to say?

Oh no! Arizona’s coming to take over!

Not quite, Skippy. The D-bags have been playing some good ball as of late, and Ian Kennedy is finally starting to look like the real deal, but betting on a team to continue to overachieve (2010 Padres, anyone?) down the pennant stretch will more likely than not let you down by the end of the season.

But the Giants haven’t hit all year!

No, they haven’t. But much like last year, you can’t really lump the latest few lineups in with those of April, May and June. Of the opening day lineup, Huff and Sandoval are the only two guys still starting, and Pablo’s the only one at his original position. With the (big) exception of catcher, they’re all looking like upgrades at the plate over their predecessors.

About that, Beltran’s not hitting so well right now…

I’m aware, Skippy. Pass me that bottle over there.

So what if they don’t start hitting, and Arizona keeps playing well?

We all have to become Brewers/Pirates/Cardinals fans for a while. That or you get a few weeks to catch up on Mad Man. They have it streaming on Netflix now, you know. Or hell, who knows, maybe Harbaugh can teach Alex Smith to hit a receiver before the third bounce.

If they miss the playoffs this year, I think they should fire Sabean.

Yeah? 29 other Major League teams would absolutely love that, Skippy. It’s because of people like you that dickheads like Omar Minaya and Dan Duquette keep getting jobs. In case you haven’t noticed, this Sabean guy has a had a lot more success than damn near any other active GM, certainly more than anyone who would replace him.

So what will they do to get better in the offseason?

Not much to do, really. Watch Buster rehab. Maybe take a run at re-signing Beltran. Put Burrell out to pasture and get Aubrey Huff real excited about his upcoming role as “New Pat.” Make sure Brandon Belt is staying in shape and not sitting around all winter now that he’s in the bigs.

Wait, go back. About Buster’s rehab… ankle injuries are tough to recover from. What if he isn’t back to 100 percent next year? Or ever?

Well, then 2012 is going to look at lot like 2011 does.

So then we’ll be having a lot more conversations like this.

You know what, Skippy? You’re a real asshole sometimes…

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One Response to Panic button? No. Whiskey? YES PLEASE.

  1. swickman says:

    Glad to see your blog is up and running, blbb!

    Try as I might, I still have my doubts about Sabean’s abilities when it comes to analyzing hitting. I can’t shake the thought that he could have given up Wheeler/Neal and maybe another player to get Pence – who is preferable to Beltran, in my opinion.

    Even still, I have my warm, fuzzy feeling from last year’s championship to keep me going, no matter what happens this season.

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